ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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