worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
you never un-have a 4some
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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