I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
