So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
