I showed him my bush... on skype.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
