i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
They took my balls.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
