And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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