woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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