Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
