I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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