Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
