I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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