Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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