You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
