After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
