Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
3pm strippers are depressing
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
