She's JV to your varsity
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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