If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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