I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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