Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
my liver is dry heaving
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
