Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
