i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's official drugs can't kill me
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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