Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize