five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My pussy is not your playground.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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