I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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