How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
