I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
