Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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