I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
