When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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