Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
