Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
