I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
