M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
