P.S. I can't hear my feet
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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