we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
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drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
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So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?