Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

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  (404): I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00. http://tfl.nu/7rzt
  Replies (9) Good night (5122) Bad night (1042)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.

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  (651): nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list. http://tfl.nu/o8v1
  Replies (13) Good night (3897) Bad night (535)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska

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  (570): cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska http://tfl.nu/incr
  Replies (67) Good night (741) Bad night (3969)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.

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  (708): so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone. http://tfl.nu/y8ai
  Replies (16) Good night (4544) Bad night (835)
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  (408): View more from California

  I don't have enough holes for all these australians

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  (408): I don't have enough holes for all these australians http://tfl.nu/dq24
  Replies (13) Good night (5907) Bad night (1326)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar

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  (812): I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar http://tfl.nu/fo8u
  Replies (2) Good night (2021) Bad night (938)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.

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  (850): It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons. http://tfl.nu/qh0d
  Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (2478)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Damn you and your Monday night power hours.

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  (207): Damn you and your Monday night power hours. http://tfl.nu/3ta4
  Replies (2) Good night (1405) Bad night (708)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?

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  (970): Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer? http://tfl.nu/hh36
  Replies (3) Good night (2291) Bad night (521)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.

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  (724): Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/sfkv
  Replies (7) Good night (897) Bad night (1695)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...

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  (214): Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake... http://tfl.nu/n6e9
  Replies (5) Good night (1249) Bad night (429)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?

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  (315): My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero? http://tfl.nu/se5g
  Replies (5) Good night (1453) Bad night (342)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat

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  (703): What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat http://tfl.nu/4o67
  Replies (2) Good night (240) Bad night (450)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.

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  (516): I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging. http://tfl.nu/pl2n
  Replies (7) Good night (1004) Bad night (207)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

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  (716): I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/a3ri
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (167)

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