Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
