Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
