ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"