Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
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We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!