Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I think I just got seasick

  (409): View more from Texas

  you're not on a boat

  (408): View more from California

  he has a waterbed.

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  (408): I think I just got seasick (409): you're not on a boat (408): he has a waterbed. http://tfl.nu/239c
  Replies (7) Good night (1519) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.

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  (607): I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them. http://tfl.nu/ng5q
  Replies (9) Good night (3027) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.

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  (631): Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person. http://tfl.nu/vzo8
  Replies (15) Good night (3661) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him

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  (863): i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him http://tfl.nu/mt9f
  Replies (24) Good night (1444) Bad night (3265)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.

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  (256): Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night. http://tfl.nu/gx6d
  Replies (17) Good night (3837) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.

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  (781): Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him. http://tfl.nu/iiv7
  Replies (15) Good night (8330) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.

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  (705): in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out. http://tfl.nu/um8l
  Replies (5) Good night (2007) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And by one day I mean once every two weeks.

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  (604): If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob. (604): And by one day I mean once every two weeks. http://tfl.nu/w0wa
  Replies (14) Good night (3096) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.

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  (248): He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup. http://tfl.nu/dnmt
  Replies (12) Good night (3402) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries

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  (813): Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries http://tfl.nu/fs2y
  Replies (0) Good night (1089) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants

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  (719): there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants http://tfl.nu/vcqy
  Replies (9) Good night (981) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".

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  (902): I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores". http://tfl.nu/4gk3
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns

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  (703): Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns http://tfl.nu/cgxv
  Replies (15) Good night (605) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.

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  (504): It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection. http://tfl.nu/5s3v
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.

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  (269): It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test. http://tfl.nu/7ah5
  Replies (1) Good night (264) Bad night (533)

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