Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  A better fuck for starters.

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  (610): He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him? (484): A better fuck for starters. http://tfl.nu/qmis
  Replies (34) Good night (700) Bad night (3196)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?

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  (707): there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy? http://tfl.nu/j2tm
  Replies (28) Good night (3065) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.

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  (425): You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left. http://tfl.nu/zkuy
  Replies (20) Good night (1520) Bad night (5667)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?

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  (919): Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus? http://tfl.nu/9yje
  Replies (22) Good night (783) Bad night (4024)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit

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  (416): Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit http://tfl.nu/uw56
  Replies (17) Good night (1025) Bad night (3645)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.

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  (815): she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her. http://tfl.nu/1rnx
  Replies (10) Good night (5962) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night

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  (845): im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night http://tfl.nu/b154
  Replies (15) Good night (2540) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.

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  (775): he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me. http://tfl.nu/rwrr
  Replies (37) Good night (3202) Bad night (5066)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

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  (212): You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines http://tfl.nu/eq9r
  Replies (14) Good night (1506) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.

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  (951): She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer. http://tfl.nu/6dwb
  Replies (11) Good night (2047) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

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  (908): Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME http://tfl.nu/m336
  Replies (18) Good night (2472) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes

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  (770): Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes http://tfl.nu/v27r
  Replies (13) Good night (1307) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.

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  (801): You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good. http://tfl.nu/w4bo
  Replies (4) Good night (1540) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.

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  (281): I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman. http://tfl.nu/ux8x
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.

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  (304): omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected. http://tfl.nu/xm5d
  Replies (4) Good night (355) Bad night (741)

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