I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
