I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
there is puke in my bra ... again
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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