FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
