Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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