Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
