Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
