I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
