Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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