just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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