ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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