walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
