if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
