id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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