i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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