Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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