Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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