Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
