Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
