the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
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I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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