God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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