Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
