Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
