Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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