I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
