I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
