I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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