Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
