WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
