Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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