And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
