You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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