windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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