watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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