So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
