I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
