Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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