So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
